My Writings in 2018
July 25
If I weren't here, my English wouldn't be as good as now.
If I weren't here, I wouldn't know the feeling of getting good grades without trying so hard.
I am glad I chose to follow my passion.
I learn from my own experience. When you are in a place where your passion doesn't belong at, no matter how hard you study, you would just be an average in an ocean of gifted people. So move out, find the right place for your passion to grow, then you'll be the gifted one.
July 31
"Farewell" by Arum Ratnaning Ratri
Angry for the long stressed out,
A well-known presence stands,
At the depths of desperation,
About to sink his anguish,
And he says,
Aalís na ako.*
*I am leaving now
August 25
To the next phase of life's stage.
You might see this person all cheerful in front of many people, but you may not know how bad he/she has been hurt by reality.
Without knowing, being alive is to feel pain.
September 29
Can't he see it? By: Arum Ratnaning Ratri
You can tell how much she loves him from her prayers,
You can tell how much she loves him from what she has sacrificed,
You can tell how much she loves him by her cries,
You can tell how much she loves him by her happiness,
You can tell how much she loves him by how grateful she is that he exists in this world,
You can tell how much she loves him from her eyes,
You can tell how much she loves him from sincerity in her talks,
You can tell how much she loves him by the way she treats him,
You can tell how much she loves him from all the little things she does for him,
You can tell how much she loves him by her accepting all the man's flaws,
You can tell how much she loves him when he leaves her but she still loves you no little or less,
You can tell how much she loves him from her sorry for being imperfect in his eyes,
You can tell how much she loves him from her patient in waiting for him,
You can tell how much she loves him from her crying for his pain,
You can tell how much she loves him from her worry of his whereabouts,
You can tell how much she loves him by giving her all to him,
You can tell how much she loves him by how deeply she wants him to be hers,
You can tell how much she loves him from her kiss,
Relinquished my frustration, my desperation, my anger to them.
Then I woke up,
silent for a moment,
thinking about the dream I had not long ago.
And I cried. Simply because the dream reminds me of how badly hurt I am because of them.
October 3
I always have this dark side of mine. Sometimes it appears very strongly. Some other time, it is hidden deep down my soul, but it is still alive. I crave for freedom, yet I never get a chance to fulfill the desire. So tell me, could an unfulfilled wish erode my happiness?
October 13
If what your parents want is not what you want, speak up. It's going to be your life. It's going to be your time, and you have to make sure that whatever it is that you do, you're truly passionate about it because it's something that you're going to have to dedicate a lot of time into it. - Ale La Chula, a youtuber StyledByAle
I have traditional parents. My passion is in English, and they see no future prospect in it. But I thought, why would I do something I don't feel any enjoyments on doing for the rest of my life, even until I die? So here I am, an English Literature student, and I enjoy my every second learning English. Just do what makes you happy.
You know what? Untraditional becomes more of the norm in today's world. So, find your own untraditional path.
When I was in high school, I went to both science and social class. Social class for the first semester in tenth grade, and science class from second semester in tenth grade until I graduated. In social class, I was happy and had nothing to be stressful about. Honestly, I did not even put much effort in studying. It just went so well naturally. And when I was in science class, I was struggling to death keeping my grades stable. I needed to go to cram school afterwards. From 6 A.M. to 8 P.M., I spent my time studying, still I was just an average student in my class, irony. It was 2,5 years felt like hell for me. Science is just not my thing. From that, I want to do what I am naturally good at, in that way I can shine.
'I don't want to be here,' that is what drives you, or gives you the idea, or stirs you up enough to say 'what is it that I want to do?' - Darren Moulden, influencer, DarrenWearsItWell
November 11
Human is an imperfect creature.
When my parents got their hopes up, that I could be better than my brother. But no, I made an even bigger mistake than all my brother had done.
I "HAVE" my own flaws. And they couldn't accept it. They slapped my cheeks hard with their hands, showing me their angry faces. That time, they thought of throwing me away. And I thank my uncle, for I can still be here. Sane, safe, and sound.
It's a dollhouse, not a home. I decided to put on a mask, trying hard to be as perfect as I could, living to their expectations, in order 'hoping' they still feed me well.
That time, I lost my love for them.
They had shattered it into little pieces, like a broken glass that will never ever can be fixed.
Heartless I become now.
Realizing I live for my own, and I only have me.
They are my trauma I could never escape from.
November 21
Did you eat yet?
How was your day?
Did anything happen?
Sounds like you had a hard day.
You don't have to say anything because I understand you well.
We all work hard.
Just like a passing wind.
What are you thinking about?
You did well today.
Thank you for your hard work.
Words are so powerful. They give you strength. Spread positivity!
December 20
How the child will grow and be like in the future can't be expected or predicted. Everyone has their own past, which will shape their psychology. Also how the child deals with problems. Some are strong, some down, and some stuck in the same spot for keeping things inside.
I myself am confused whether I falling off or standing still for years. I'm still being followed by my past trauma, but my subconscious is helping me enough by how easily I forget my past memories. For that, I am now still alive.
If I weren't here, my English wouldn't be as good as now.
If I weren't here, I wouldn't know the feeling of getting good grades without trying so hard.
I am glad I chose to follow my passion.
I learn from my own experience. When you are in a place where your passion doesn't belong at, no matter how hard you study, you would just be an average in an ocean of gifted people. So move out, find the right place for your passion to grow, then you'll be the gifted one.
July 31
"Farewell" by Arum Ratnaning Ratri
Angry for the long stressed out,
A well-known presence stands,
At the depths of desperation,
About to sink his anguish,
And he says,
Aalís na ako.*
*I am leaving now
August 25
To the next phase of life's stage.
You might see this person all cheerful in front of many people, but you may not know how bad he/she has been hurt by reality.
Without knowing, being alive is to feel pain.
September 29
Can't he see it? By: Arum Ratnaning Ratri
You can tell how much she loves him from her prayers,
You can tell how much she loves him from what she has sacrificed,
You can tell how much she loves him by her cries,
You can tell how much she loves him by her happiness,
You can tell how much she loves him by how grateful she is that he exists in this world,
You can tell how much she loves him from her eyes,
You can tell how much she loves him from sincerity in her talks,
You can tell how much she loves him by the way she treats him,
You can tell how much she loves him from all the little things she does for him,
You can tell how much she loves him by her accepting all the man's flaws,
You can tell how much she loves him when he leaves her but she still loves you no little or less,
You can tell how much she loves him from her sorry for being imperfect in his eyes,
You can tell how much she loves him from her patient in waiting for him,
You can tell how much she loves him from her crying for his pain,
You can tell how much she loves him from her worry of his whereabouts,
You can tell how much she loves him by giving her all to him,
You can tell how much she loves him by how deeply she wants him to be hers,
You can tell how much she loves him from her kiss,
~
In my dream, I cried, I screamed.Relinquished my frustration, my desperation, my anger to them.
Then I woke up,
silent for a moment,
thinking about the dream I had not long ago.
And I cried. Simply because the dream reminds me of how badly hurt I am because of them.
~
I might be happier now, but the pain from the past is still there. It exists in both my memory and my heart. And it hurts.October 3
I always have this dark side of mine. Sometimes it appears very strongly. Some other time, it is hidden deep down my soul, but it is still alive. I crave for freedom, yet I never get a chance to fulfill the desire. So tell me, could an unfulfilled wish erode my happiness?
October 13
If what your parents want is not what you want, speak up. It's going to be your life. It's going to be your time, and you have to make sure that whatever it is that you do, you're truly passionate about it because it's something that you're going to have to dedicate a lot of time into it. - Ale La Chula, a youtuber StyledByAle
I have traditional parents. My passion is in English, and they see no future prospect in it. But I thought, why would I do something I don't feel any enjoyments on doing for the rest of my life, even until I die? So here I am, an English Literature student, and I enjoy my every second learning English. Just do what makes you happy.
You know what? Untraditional becomes more of the norm in today's world. So, find your own untraditional path.
When I was in high school, I went to both science and social class. Social class for the first semester in tenth grade, and science class from second semester in tenth grade until I graduated. In social class, I was happy and had nothing to be stressful about. Honestly, I did not even put much effort in studying. It just went so well naturally. And when I was in science class, I was struggling to death keeping my grades stable. I needed to go to cram school afterwards. From 6 A.M. to 8 P.M., I spent my time studying, still I was just an average student in my class, irony. It was 2,5 years felt like hell for me. Science is just not my thing. From that, I want to do what I am naturally good at, in that way I can shine.
'I don't want to be here,' that is what drives you, or gives you the idea, or stirs you up enough to say 'what is it that I want to do?' - Darren Moulden, influencer, DarrenWearsItWell
November 11
Human is an imperfect creature.
When my parents got their hopes up, that I could be better than my brother. But no, I made an even bigger mistake than all my brother had done.
I "HAVE" my own flaws. And they couldn't accept it. They slapped my cheeks hard with their hands, showing me their angry faces. That time, they thought of throwing me away. And I thank my uncle, for I can still be here. Sane, safe, and sound.
It's a dollhouse, not a home. I decided to put on a mask, trying hard to be as perfect as I could, living to their expectations, in order 'hoping' they still feed me well.
That time, I lost my love for them.
They had shattered it into little pieces, like a broken glass that will never ever can be fixed.
Heartless I become now.
Realizing I live for my own, and I only have me.
They are my trauma I could never escape from.
November 21
Did you eat yet?
How was your day?
Did anything happen?
Sounds like you had a hard day.
You don't have to say anything because I understand you well.
We all work hard.
Just like a passing wind.
What are you thinking about?
You did well today.
Thank you for your hard work.
Words are so powerful. They give you strength. Spread positivity!
December 20
How the child will grow and be like in the future can't be expected or predicted. Everyone has their own past, which will shape their psychology. Also how the child deals with problems. Some are strong, some down, and some stuck in the same spot for keeping things inside.
I myself am confused whether I falling off or standing still for years. I'm still being followed by my past trauma, but my subconscious is helping me enough by how easily I forget my past memories. For that, I am now still alive.
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